11/11/2009

So Malachi seemed to be completely unaffected by yesterday's events by the time we got to the hospital this morning. However, early this morning (around 330 or so) there was a power outage in this area of downtown. Not sure how quickly the generators clicked on, but the nurse said that the ventilators shut off for a period of time and they had to use the bag mask thing on Malachi until they came back on.

Because they got the central line replaced last night around 930, I was able to once again hold Mr. Malachi! What a treasure it is to be able to get to hold my baby--even though it's only for an hour, at least it's something! He was wide awake for most of the afternoon. Both of his eyes were open for extended periods of time and for the most part they seemed to be slightly tracking movement and also mostly both eyes moving in sync with one another. We will not know the full extent of his visual and hearing impairment until he gets older.

I didn't know how I would expect to feel after speaking with the surgeon and those who will be involved with Chi's surgery tomorrow. It definitely wasn't comforting to hear their explanations of how things will go down. I wasn't exactly thrilled to hear about all the risks and complications of the procedure. We are thankful that the surgical team is very open as far as lines of communication and we expect that to carry over as we sit all day in surgery waiting. The OR nurse will come out every hour and update us on how things are going and what is being done and the condition of our little baby. The surgeon, Dr. Brown, came to speak with us briefly this evening and two things he said really stuck with me. First, he said that he would treat our little Chi as if he was was his very own grandson. And secondly, he commented that the 24 to 48-hour period following surgery will be a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs--a roller coaster ride that we will NOT want to be a part of. Also, the night nurse took us down to view where Chi will be recovering immediately after surgery in the PICU (pediatric intensive care unit). Here, he will have his "own" room to help him as he recovers. It will allow him more space for all of the machines he will be hooked up to immediately following surgery. If I thought the Ivs and lines hooked up to Chi were bad already, I've been told I haven't seen anything yet. Pray that I can have the ability to stomach all the machines and monitors and tubes and IVs. I need to be able to sit in the same room as my son.

I think up until this point, I have tried not to think about the seriousness and the complexities involved in Malachi's case. It is just easier that way. Well, I think all of that postponing will catch up with me as we sit waiting during his operation. John and I truly appreciate all the prayer and support that we have received up until this point and trust that we will continue to receive as we walk through this journey that God has set before us. I know that there is no where else, no other hospital that I would want Chi to be at with his conditions. We are very, very thankful for the medical staff here at Riley Hospital.

I'm not exactly sure how well I will be updating throughout the day tomorrow. I will either be on top of things every step of the way or I have the feeling that I may become somewhat detached from what is going so as to not play the "what if" game. We know that what will be, will be. God is in control and we are thankful that it is a Christian surgeon who will be operating on Chi--a man who knows the Great Physician and knows who really is in control of the next 48 crucial hours of my little one's life.