Friday, December 17, 2010

talking back to the computer

computer: press a button.
emma: just a sec
------(30 seconds later)------
comp: press a button.
em: just a second.
------(30 seconds later)------
comp: press a button.
em: just a SECOND, i said.
------(30 seconds later)------
comp: press a button.
 ------(30 seconds later)------
comp: press a button.
em: mom, will you tell my computer i said 'just a second'?? 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Baby Jackson

 So we've officially hit the one-month mark with our newest addition, Jackson Nehemiah!  Overall, he has been a GREAT baby.  Although, it could just be that I've amplified in my mind all of Emma's crying and horrible nursing experience to the point that any baby would seem easy compared to her--well, except for Malachi (he was pretty complex!)... He really is just about the cutest little boy you'll ever see. He spends most of his days (and nights) SLEEPING!  The sight of a sleeping babe is truly precious--hence the first three pictures of this post!
At five days old, he was already up to his birthweight.  Now, at one month, he has gained THREE pounds.  Clearly, we've got breastfeeding (mostly) down with this munchkin'--a completely new experience for me.  I think God is using the nursing success as a means of answer the prayers of so many that I would have a deep, immediate attachment to this baby--a fear of mine as I am still almost daily grieving for the loss of our babe Malachi.  I really, really can't get enough of this kid!
 In the beginning, it was VERY difficult for me to allow anyone else to hold Jackson--including John.  It wasn't so much me just being selfish, but I wanted to take each and every opportunity I could to snuggle this baby.  Sometimes Malachi was so sick that we weren't even able to touch him--let alone HOLD him!  However, if I learned anything from our experience with Malachi it was that our children are not our own.  They are gifts from the Lord whom we have been given the privilege of stewarding.  So when I attend a Christmas get-together or spend time with extended family, I have to force myself to ask "Anybody want to hold the baby?" as soon as we walk in the door, or I know it's not gonna happen and I'll just hoard him all night long.  
 Just like with Emerson, Jackson was born looking just like my side of the family but is quickly turning into a baby-image of his father.  Emma continues to go back and forth between looking like me and looking like her daddy, so it will be interesting to see if Jackson follows suit.  I'm hoping he just looks more and more like his daddy!  I've been able to capture a few smiles (or at least smirks) on "film" and he's starting to realize that he can intentionally make noises--so that's always fun.  I mean seriously, how can you resist this charm!?!?  One thing he quickly grew out of though were his pig noises.  He would grunt EXACTLY like a little piglet when he was trying to forage for food.  I miss those piggy snorts.   

Happy one month Jackson, I've enjoyed getting to know you!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

quick pics

boxes and boxes... there were still more to come. at this point we hadnt emptied our stuff from johns parents...

a peek at  the new countertops...

pantry almost done...

sink preview...
mt favorite place in the new house.  board and batten throughout--my husband loves me dearly to put all this up.
we're taking a hiatus on working on the house during the holidays and enjoying time as a family when john gets home from work for the day.  we'll hit it hard again in 2011!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Potty mouth

While going to the bathroom:

If she has more than one poop she refers to it as a "whole FAMILY of

Or we've heard "I'm gonna build a tower of poopies up to the ceiling!"

And today, little miss got a square of to stuck in her booty to which
she exclaimed, "hey look! I have a tail!"

Saturday, December 11, 2010


head over to chis blog at to view/listen to some lyrics that have touched me/us lately.  (and i haven't even started listening to the Steven Curtis Chapman CD he wrote after losing his daughter)... the last three posts are all song related.

All of Me

John and I really enjoy listening to the music of Sanctus Real.  The lead singer of this group, Matt Hammitt, and his wife recently had a baby boy who was diagnosed in utero with a heart defect.  The first surgery that Bowen underwent was the very same open heart surgery that Malachi had at two weeks old.  Needless to say, we could relate to their story.

As a songwriter, Matt began working on lyrics.  Listen to his song "All of Me" which can be found halfway through their 9/15/2010 blog post at the following link:  We have some very similar pictures of Malachi we posted here.

All of Me
Afraid to love something that could break
Could I move on if you were torn away?
I’m so close to what I can’t control
Can’t give you half my heart and pray He makes you whole

You’re gonna have all of me
You’re gonna have all of me
You’re worth every falling tear
You’re worth facing any fear

You’re gonna know all my love
Even if it’s not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I’ll start

I won’t let sadness steal you from my arms
I won’t let pain keep you from my heart
I’ll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I’ll share with you

Heaven brought you to this moment
It’s too wonderful to speak
You’re worth all of me
You’re worth all of me

Let me recklessly love you
Even if I bleed
You’re worth all of me
You’re worth all of me

One Last Christmas

Matthew West, why must you continue to pull at my heartstrings... a couple songs off his latest album.  Lyrics are posted below the videos.  Underlined text denotes especially meaningful lyrics.

One Last Christmas

verse 1:
It’s the news that no one hopes for,
Every parents greatest fear
Finding out the child you love so much
Might not make it through the year
Now the thought of spending Christmas
Without him just feels wrong
They’ve been praying for a miracle,
Now there’s praying he can just hold on

For one last Christmas one last night
One last season when the world is right
One more telling of the story
One more verse of Silent night
They’d give anything so he could have
One last Christmas

verse 2:
Middle of September
Still twenty degrees
mother climbs up in the attic, brings down candles
hangs the lights on all the trees
Then the neighbors started asking
And pretty soon word got around
First it was the neighborhood,
Before too long they lit up that whole town

Verse 3:
Twentyseventh of October, {{Malachi's Birthday}}
His time was wearing thin
Friends and family even strangers
That they didn’t know brought presents in
He was weak but He was smiling
Like there was nothing even wrong
They said he wouldn’t make it,
Looks like he got to see it after all

The Reason for the World

There are no words in times like these
When tears don't hide the tragedies
And all you want is a reason for the world

No comfort in the greeting card
Cause God is good, But life's still hard
and your heart just wants a reason for the world

Maybe the reason for the pain
Is so we would pray for strength
And maybe the reason for the strength
Is so that we would not lose hope
And maybe the reason for all hope
Is so that we could face the world
And the reason for the world
Is to make us long for home

For God so loved your broken heart
He sent his son to where you are
and he died
To give a reason for the world

So lift your sorrows to the one
Whose plan for you has just begun
And rests here in the hands that hold the world

Maybe the reason for the pain
Is so we would pray for strength
And maybe the reason for the strength
Is so that we would not lose hope
And maybe the reason for all hope
Is so that we could face the world
And the reason for the world
Is to make us long for home

Well I know your past the point of broken
Surrounded by your fear
I know your feet are tired and weary
from the road that you walked down here
But just keep your eyes on heaven
and know that you are not alone
remember the reason for the world

No ear has heard, No eye has seen
Not even in your wildest dreams
A beauty that awaits beyond this world
When you look into the eyes of grace
and hear the voice of mercy say
Child, welcome to the reason for the world

Friday, December 10, 2010

Book Recommendations

Experienced a great loss? Know someone who has?

Recently, I have read these books through tears and tissues and would highly recommend them to anyone who would like insight on what the past 2-1/2 years, but more specifically the last almost 7 months have been like for me.  I was able to very directly relate to these authors and their lives by what we have experienced in the last 2-1/2 years through miscarriage, hospital life, disability, burying our baby, and the ensuing grief.

Safe in the Arms of God  (John MacArthur)
Biblically based assurance that I will see my babies when I join them in heaven.

A Different Dream for My Child by Jolene Philo
Meditations for Parents of Critically or Chronically Ill Children

How to Help a Grieving Friend by Stephanie Grace Whitson
More info regarding this book HERE.

Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman
A fellow mom who experienced both miscarriage and the death of a child.

Holding on to Hope by Nancy Guthrie
Another mom's journey through grief after losing two children--each 6 months of age (like Chi).

cannibalism:just say no

mommy likes to pretend to take bites out of new baby brother. "Emma, he's so cute I could just eat him right up... yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum."

"Mommy, do NOT eat my brother.  I already told you I didn't like you doing that the other day."

A Year With God (Book Review)

A Year with God: Making His Thoughts Your Thoughts by R.P. Nettelhorst

I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review by BookSneeze. They did not provide any other measure of compensation--only asking for an honest review in return. My review was not required to be positive.

Overall, I think it was a decent surface-type devotional. However it was not something that I would see at a bookstore and buy it off the shelf.  I actually prefer devotionals and studies with a little more "meat" to them. 
I do like that the scriptures used all came from the Old Testament--definitely not the case with most devotional type books and it was nice to see something different. I also liked that there were distinct topical sections within the book (Hope and Fear, Love and Hate, Perseverance and Quitting, Faith and Doubt, Loyalty and Betrayal, Companionship and Isolation, Mercy and Judgment, Forgiveness and Anger, Joy and Sadness, Peace and Conflict).   These topics can be related to by everyone--myself included.  I will keep this book within easy reach on my bookshelf even just for the quick reads in the arena of "Joy and Sadness".

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times and at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you. But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry is how long must I wait to be with you. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow; I've never been more homesick than now.

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways. The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know. But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same 'cause I'm still here so far away from home. I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now.

In Christ, there are no goodbyes. And in Christ, there is no end. So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have to see you again. To see you again.

And I close my eyes and I see your face. If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place. Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow.

I've never been more homesick than now.

(Homesick by MercyMe)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Merry Christmas

Vintage Lace Snowflakes Christmas Card
Shop Shutterfly for elegant custom Christmas photo cards.
View the entire collection of cards.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Congrats to Victoria Nelson (mom to CHARGEr Moriah--pretty sure her and Chi would have been a great couple ;) not that it ever crossed John and I's mind). 

Her guess for Baby Jackson was as follows...
im guessing Nov. 11th.
wt. 7 lbs 7 oz
ht. 19 1/2

Actual figures:  Nov 11...7lb 13oz...20.5 inches

Good work!  Your amazon gift card will be in your e-mail inbox in the next day or so. Enjoy!

jackson's first package

Last week Jackson received his first package... I just can't resist sharing this with you...

Of course, we needed to start this kid off right as a hawkeye fan (the sender thought likewise!).

And have you EVER seen these!?!? I laughed for a solid hour when I read the packaging. It's a Pee-Pee TeePee!  I'm assuming you can figure out what it's for ;)