Emma

Emerson is amazing (usually). When in the right mood, she will try to do ANYTHING to make her mama happy--especially when she knows I'm sad. She has been sick since we got home from "vacation". Because of said sickness, I stayed home with her from church on Sunday. I don't know if it was just being in this apartment or the fact that John was away or just seeing all of the Malachi reminders around me (probably a combination of all the above) that I was to say the least tearful. John called after the church service to see how things were going and that just opened up the floodgates. Emma was concerned.

"Mama, why are you sad?"
Mommy just wants baby Chi to be home, sweetie.
"It's okay, mama."
You're right, sweetie. Mommy just misses Malachi.
"Okay, me and daddy will go get him and bring him home for you."

Is she not the sweetest little girl you've ever met? So thankful that she was a part of our lives as we continue to endure this trial.

The rest of the week has gone okay. I'm learning that I'm not very comfortable to be in places with lots of people (which should make church interesting next week). I'm learning that I never know when it's appropriate or just flat out annoying to others to bring up Malachi in conversation. I'm learning that it's hard for me to cry in front of others because I'm worried about making them uncomfortable. I think the hardest thing I'm learning is that frankly I have no clue how to handle a trial of this magnitude by myself. For that, I am thankful for my savior as well as for my husband. Without them, I would be lost.