#13

I am trying to gather how your little man has impacted me. It's very hard to put that together.

One of my very best friends had a baby November 5th and little lady was put in the hospital within a week or so. They weren't sure what would happen with her because they weren't sure what was wrong. I prayed a lot for little lady and Malachi together....and their momma's and daddy's. Little lady got better and I remember thinking so much about Malachi still struggling. The month or so little lady was in the hospital tore me up. It was hard to even think about your pain. I didn't know about your blog until months later. In April when Malachi went back into the hospital we were asked to pray for you guys. I asked for more details and was given your blog. I spent hours reading through your experiences and crying and wondering how you were trusting in God the way you were. That was such a rebuke to my faith. I still have and wear my bracelet. I want to remember you guys as you continue. I want to remember this new little one. I am praying daily for you. In the end....I think Malachi has put much in perspective for me. God has a plan. He is using things for His glory. We are here for His purposes and our joy is a benefit of that, but not the end goal. His glory is the goal.

As I write this my uncle is in a hospital dying....really I am expecting a call any minute to tell me that he's gone. My aunt on the other side of my family is waiting to find out the results of a biopsy. Her cancer is probably back, and if so, its not a great outlook. These things are so difficult to think about. I am heartbroken right now. I'm trying to keep busy just to keep me from crying. When I think about Malachi and how you viewed his life, it is more than an encouragement to me.

-Nicole, MI (28)-

Thanks for being so open on your blog...even about Jordan. I often wonder about some of the stuff you posted and it gives me more info when I hear about someone having a miscarriage. I know what they may be going through and how better to pray for them.