struggling

can i tell you how much i hate, hate, HATE being at the hospital. nope. i really don't think i could put it into words. two weeks is long enough to get used to something. i got used to having my baby home. the headache that has been holding on strong all day hasn't exactly helped my mood and perspective of all this either. when we took Chi down to get his PICC line. i signed consent--that awful paper that signs away my little boy to the mercy of nurses and physicians until I see him again minutes or hours later. this afternoon i signed, sat down in the waiting room, laid on the couch, and cried. not a good day. i am tired. i am weak. i am faltering.