preparing

I think the doctors were surprised at how not surprised we were when Malachi was born and we discovered that he would be classified as special needs. There was nothing seemingly wrong with the pregnancy. We were completely unaware until he was rushed to the NICU within five minutes of delivery. The next day we were informed of Chi’s heart defects and he was transferred to the Children’s Hospital. The following week we were bombarded with each new diagnosis. Throughout that week, we were reminded of some interesting things that had happened to us early in this pregnancy.



For instance, we were starting to help out with the youth group at our church and we were watching a video series by the preacher David Ring. He was born with cerebral palsy, although he was mentally intact. He was orphaned at age 14 and in and out of different homes. Among many good points he had, he talked about how God was able to use his “disadvantages” or "weaknesses" or "special need" to glorify God.

On a completely unrelated occasion, I was taken aback by the song “The Last Ones” by Matthew West. Some of the lyrics are as follows:

My friend Taylor she's an angel

Ten years old and beautiful

She's a living, breathing miracle

And she proves it everyday



Because the odds were stacked against her

From the day that she arrived here

And the doctors told her mom and dad

That she'd always be that way



And I confess when I first met her I was thinking life's not fair

But then she wrapped her arms around my neck and it all became so clear



God bless the last ones

God bless the last ones



Maybe the last ones are the lucky ones

And the ones who got this whole thing figured out

Cause when they go looking for something beautiful

They start looking from the inside out

I was about three months pregnant when I specifically had asked John to listen to that song. He then verbalized to me that He thought God may be preparing us for raising a child with special needs. How little did we know!! (for a quick glimpse into our thoughts regarding children, check out this entry I wrote when we found out we were pregnant with Malachi)

The bible says that a family is a good thing and children are a reward from Him (Psalm 127:3). Christians in general would agree to that--as long as its on their terms. Most people want to dictate the number and gender of their children AND obviously be healthy with no mental or physical disabilities. We are, however, by no means saying that it is wrong to want or pray for a healthy baby. Of course, it is our deepest desire that Malachi continues to improve and get healthy! But as evidenced in the life of David Ring, it's through his "disability" that he has been able to glorify God. In one of his messages, he stated that it should be an honor and we should thank God for an opportunity like the one we have been given. It along those lines that we realized we have been chosen by God to be the steward of Baby Chi. We are not saying that we are happy that Malachi was struggling to breathe or that he has a heart defect or that he has been physically hurting; we are not saying that at all. But to Him be the glory!

Malachi currently requires and will continue to need a great amount of medical care and attention and God has entrusted us to take care of him. We are looking forward to all those moments when we're thinking one thing or viewing a situation one way and Malachi says something to completely blow us away. I am sure that we will many times have our eyes opened in ways we never could have foretold. We want to and look forward to teaching Malachi about the Lord and what a great God we serve who has protected him thus far, but how much have we already learned from this little baby boy!! We can't even fathom what more he has in store for us.

His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus,

"but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.

(John 9:2-3)