So, this is officially the most disconnected I've felt from Malachi since he was taken from the delivery room less than five minutes after his birth. The last time I saw him was around midnight on December 16th. Even then, I was scared to touch him because I had started feeling sick that day. It is not natural for a mom to be apart from her sick child. I hate not being physically there to see him and see the nurses doing their job and all of that. I can't do much when I'm there, but at least I can be there and put my hand on his head or his chest and let him know that his mommy is close. I am very thankful for the nurse practitioners going out of their way to call me throughout the day with changes in his care and that sort of thing. At least it gives me a chance to ask questions to the people DIRECTLY involved in the decision-making of my son's care.
Malachi is still on three antibiotics. Thankfully, his IV has been holding out and they haven't had to reinsert IVs on a daily basis. The NP is hopeful that his blood culture will show to be negative for bacteria growth and he can have one or two of them discontinued here soon.
We don't know all the specifics regarding the CT scan they did yesterday, but there is some abnormality of the bony structure of his inner ear. The initial report said it seemed to be underdeveloped. How this plays out practically with his hearing impairment, we still cannot be 100%.
Tonight he has been having some difficulty again with keep his oxygen saturation levels high. It is necessary for his saturation levels to stay at or above 70% and they are having difficulty maintaining that level. They have the oxygen coming through his Vapotherm cannula at 52% right now. At this time, they have ordered a chest x-ray to see if there are any obvious problems with his airways or to see if he just has a bunch of gunk in his lungs. They may do a deep suction down his throat to see if that helps at all.
The uncertainty of the situation and just not being around him the past couple days is taking a toll on me emotionally tonight, especially getting off the phone and realizing he is struggling tonight. Please pray for continued strength and grace for our family to handle this trying time. (On a brighter note, I am feeling well enough to go see him in the morning. My plan for the day: Wake up, Shower, Hospital. I NEED to see my baby.)
I hear you girl! SO glad to hear you will see him today...this will be SO good for both of you. :0) Still praying friend...holding you all close to my heart...carrying you to His feet.
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