where we are.... for now.

Dear John and Marissa,

What an amazing Christmas you are about to celebrate. It's so easy to just go through the motions (even celebrating Christmas) and not even realize the special blessings we are missing. Your world has been brought to a halt and because of it your lives will forever be changed. So from this point in time forward you now have the opportunity to see things from an entirely different vantage point. Your ability to see, what others can not see, can bring great glory to the Lord. Our prayer is that God will give you the grace to experience every facet of the events that lie ahead, so you will see as He sees.

It's amazing for so many reasons:
*Your little divine treasure--Malachi.
*Your stress filled family circumstances--over little Malachi.
*Your extended immediate family's spiritual involvement--with little Malachi.
*Your extended spiritual family's prayer support--in behalf of little Malachi.
*Your China plans that have been put on hold--because of little Malachi.
*Your simple daily life's routine that has been put o hold--because of little Malachi.
*Your opportunity to let so many see what true love is really all about--because of little Malachi.
*Your love for each other that is now split between your little one at home and--your little Malachi.
*Your Lord's full undivided love, concern, compassion, and attention that is being extended to both of you--because of little Malachi.

Obviously, the list of reasons goes on and on, but no matter what we cold add to this list our Lord is in and through every facet, every turn, every victory, every setback, every uncertainty, and every tear, as He sees your love for your little one--your Malachi. Please know that as all of us go through this with you, you are going to have an amazing Christmas because of our Amazing Lord.

We received this letter today and not a moment too soon. Little notes of encouragement have been increasingly more important to us as we continue to endure NICU life and a child in unstable conditions. There is no longer a "normal" for us. Reminders of God's goodness and holiness are constantly necessary day in and day out. Thank you for those reminders!

It was a very, very weird afternoon, sitting at Malachi's bedside. He was sedated and completely unaware of his surroundings. He didn't have his eyes open so he couldn't see us. He can't hear us because he can't hear. He won't remember his first Christmas. I was getting sick to my tummy just sitting there and hotspots on my cheeks (which I've been getting more often as I think of Malachi). It was then that we decided we would spend as much of Christmas with Emerson as we could. I will be up to the hospital early in the morning before Emerson wakes up.

This is where we are, for now...