Usually I get pretty excited about Christmas Eve because that is the day my family has traditionally opened presents! Maybe you are like me where in the past I have always had at least one thing that I really wanted. But this year has been totally different for me. I mean its hard to come up with a list of stuff I really want. sure another this or another that would be great. I'm not saying I wont enjoy getting presents, but its hard to describe. I just have a different feeling about Christmas this year. I've always been excited about Christmas time. I love being with friends and family. I love the decorations and the lights. I love the atmosphere and I have always loved the presents. But it just feels different. Like obviously something is missing. I would give up everything I own... every material possession I have and all I would ask if for would be that my WHOLE family would be home this Christmas. Marissa and I both feel that way. We truly and honestly could care less about anything else if we could just have our son home with us. I want him to be healthy and safe, and I want to hold him in my own house while watching my wife and daughter open presents. I was sitting there holding him the other day and the real truth of Christmas hit me. And dare I say possibly even for the first time. I'm just not sure if I remember Genuinely feeling this way before. I thought about why we really do have Christmas. Yes, I am one of many who often say that "Jesus is the reason for the season." And He truly is, but how often do we say that and then still get swallowed up in everything else that comes with Christmas every year? Once again I am not saying all the fun, decorations, time with family, and presents are bad. They are goods things (usually). I am merely saying that even with good intentions and plenty of reminders I still find myself distracted during the Christmas time. I've been praying the Lord would give me His grace and strength so that I might not lose site of Him this holiday season. Because I had to sit there and take a long hard clear look at myself. Have you really sat down and pondered in between the decorating, buy and opening of presents, and the eating of all that great food why you do anything you do? I mean be real with who you are. Look in the mirror and see not who you perceive or want yourself to be but who you are. I think it scares us to really thinking about looking at ourselves honestly. It does me. It reminds me of when I use to "clean my room." I use to just shove everything under my bed. Things I liked and things I wanted to hide found their way under there. Then finally it would come time for me to actually clean my room. And I would have to face the dreaded under the bed area. I thought that if I had to clean everything then I might as well do it right and everything would come out from under that bed. It would be a frightening sight. Ask my parents! I used to do a pretty good job of hiding how much junk I had down there under that bed. And I felt that way sitting there with my son thinking about who I was this Christmas season and what I was celebrating. I don't like thinking and pondering about what is wrong with me. But how can I ask the Lord to help me change those things if I am unwilling to be honest with myself and Him. Far too often I have celebrated the celebration of Christmas and not really celebrated the fact that my God gave up so much and was born just to die on a cross to save the world! The few times I actually do think about Christ coming as a Child I don't really think about what He gave up or what it was like for him to humble himself like that. I pray that I will celebrate Christ this Christmas.
I leave you with 2 of my favorite Christmas songs (the second one is my favorite). I enjoy these not because of the tune or the vocals (even though I honestly do enjoy those) but because they help me to celebrate Christ and not just a holiday.
How Many Kings? (sung by the group Downhere)
Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe, after all we've projected,
A child in a manger?
Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl -
Just a child -
Is this who we've waited for? 'cause...
How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
Bringing our gifts for the newborn Savior
All that we have, whether costly or meek
Because we believe.
Gold for his honor, and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he will suffer
Do you believe?
Is this who we've waited for?
How many kings step down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
And how many gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that is torn all apart
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?
All for me...
All for you…
I Celebrate the Day (sung by the group Relient K)
And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be
And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever
And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever
And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever
And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever
And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life
I sat last xmas in a similiar situation as you this year. We got very teary eyed this year thinking of last year. Those situations rock you to your core and give you those pondering moments. It is truly for him. It's all in his power and his purpose. I pray for your whole family and healing prayers for Malachi!
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