Where I am...

So it's been a while...not for lack of topics or an unwillingness to post, I just haven't. Part of the reason was due to my visit to see family in Iowa (yep, survived the Indy to DES moines, Iowa drive just me and the kiddos). We've been busy working on house stuff. Laying new flooring in the main floor living areas (super exciting), kitchen cabinet stuff, general organization that's been sorely avoided for months. I mean piles. Papers stacked randomly and placed in different areas scattered throughout the house. I've got five baskets of laundry to fold and put away (at least they're clean, right!!?!?). There are about ten books I would love to just hide away for a day or two and read. I wish I was more disciplined in spiritual matters--prayer, bible study, evangelism. I'm so thankful I have a heaven-oriented mindset, but I really wish I didn't have to bury my son to get to that point. It's weird to see Jackson smiling in his sleep and instantly thinking of Malachi. It's weird that the cemetery will be a regular stop for Emma throughout her childhood. Lately she keeps saying that "our family is all here, but we're missing my brother and sister-Malachi and Jordan." I love that she knows that. What else? I'm kinda sad I havent really stuck it out with my workout program. Almost back to pre pregnancy weight, but still have about 10-15 I'd like to lose. Not to mention figure out what to do with belly skin stretched to no end with three term pregnancies in a matter of less than four years. Anyone still reading? I'm tired and rundown and heartbroken and seemingly back to taking it just one day at a time. I guess that's just where I need to be...for now.