Saturday, January 8, 2011
coping mechanism
So apparently, my mind has started blocking things out. I'm realizing my camera and I need to be good friends. Between the grief which shows up on its own schedule and the sheer lack of decent sleep that comes with a newborn, I don't remember much. This is fine for those moments where I feel like I've lost Chi all over again and the pain is new and hard. But for those moments where I look at Emerson and Jackson and I'm able to visually see and physically touch God's goodness, those I want to remember. I want to cling to. I want them to be etched in my memory forever. Apparently, I don't get that luxury for this short season. It's obviously bittersweet. I've got some photos to share later to document the last couple months, but that will have to wait until tomorrow ;)...
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love ur new blog and yes i followed u hope u still keep chis blog tho LOVE YA
ReplyDeleteYes, love the new site as well and can't wait to see the updated pics. You are blessed in not taking any step of your children's lives for granted, but along with that comes knowing how quickly time goes and the desire to cling to those memories.
ReplyDeleteI am the same way. I had a traumatic childhood that I had blocked almost completely out. I had maybe 3 memories from age birth to 18. Diagnosed PTSD. I thought once I got help for it I would remember. Then I started to forget my new good memories, the ones of dating and falling in love with my husband and my children being born and when they were young, my best friend and all we would do together(he died 3yrs ago), but no, no memories. I have a handful at best. I then realized that when I have a high emotion day be it happy or sad I forget it. I would love to have this fixed. I am sorry you are going through it. Seriously a camera is your best friend.
ReplyDeleteBe blessed
Ashlee