Tuesday, January 25, 2011

8 Months -- A New Look

This picture of Malachi taken at about four months old is quickly becoming one of my favorites.  He seriously has to be the cutest little CHARGE kiddo there ever was--okay, I might be a bit partial, but still.  At this stage in the game John and I were finishing up training to bring baby HOME! We were fully equipped and confident--doing more than we ever thought possible--to have Malachi under the same roof as the rest of our family. 

His skin is clear--my maternal antibodies have yet to begin rejecting his skin and leaving it rashy, blotchy, and shedding.  It was so hard not to feel bad that those very antibodies which were rejecting his largest organ came from his mama. 

He's on trach collar trials.  During these trials, he was doing all of the actual breathing on his own.  The globe-looking thing covering the trach opening was just providing humidification for the air he was breathing in.  He was never able to come off the ventilator, but during this time he was making progress.  

I love pictures of Malachi sleeping.  So peaceful.  So content.  Truly at rest. 

It's hard to believe that Malachi has been with Jesus longer now than he was with us.  It's weird to not truly feel "whole" when a piece of your heart is in heaven.  I am thankful that the bad details of Chi's life are slowly fading.  However, I am terribly afraid to forget some of the good in the process.  Slowly, it is getting easier to look back at pictures and once again be encouraged by cards and letters we received in the last year and a half.  I guess you can call that progress.

As you can see, Chi's blog has a new look.  I would also like to make this more of an organized resource for those struggling through trials--especially those in situations similar to us.  Please help me with this process.  Any suggestions for content or whatever would be GREATLY appreciated as I slowly work through all of this.  Thank you.


  1. well first suggestion is writing how you are coping this to me would b great for others going through what you are going through knowning they arent alone love to u

  2. God still uses Malachi in my life at least once a week... The lessons I continue to learn because of Malachi just surprise me.

    And I still pray for you and John. Our God truly is an AWESOME God!

  3. Beautiful new design for a beautiful little boy. He touched so many lives and is missed by all who ever heard of him. I cant imagine how much more you are missing him. I am so sorry for the loss of Malachi.

    Be blessed


  4. It is bittersweet to hit that time when your child has been in heaven longer than on earth. It brings tears to my eyes, of grief and of pure joy for he is with our King and living the eternal life we all hope for. He is missed dearly, but was put on this earth for a purpose he accomplished well before others. I'm thankful for all that I have learned through my son Joshua, and how our paths crossed because of these sweet angels.