Saturday, March 24, 2012
an infant's casket
This was prompted from a video lesson we were watching at Bible study on Friday morning and she mentioned the sight of the casket belonging to a dear friend's young child...
On May 25th, 2010, I sat next to my husband who's arm was draped around me as we watched the heart monitor... slowing with each beat to the point where it no longer registered. My arms cradled Malachi as he breathed his last breath. I could almost feel the spirit leave his physical body. Lifeless... limp... cold... gone.
My heart ached.
A part of my very being was ripped away as the nurse removed him from my arms.
We left the room... our son was no longer there .
That was our encouragement to one another. Our son was now with Jesus. It was the encouragement we needed. And it was the encouragement we gave to others as they saw our baby for the first time--lying in his casket. "He's not there."
I'm thankful God used that truth to speak peace to me... especially during the funeral when many were there who are not believers and hopefully that strength (clearly not our own) would testify to the reality of God in our lives.
I'm learning now that there is another side to it that I don't think I've full grieved over.... I loved Malachi's little body... I housed that body for nine months... I gave birth to that body... That little hand, I held that hand... I stroked his soft baby hair... I kissed that cheek... I changed that diaper... I sat by that body day after day after day... That body was my son's.
And it's OKAY to miss his body and grieve the fact that I don't get to witness that body grow or hold that body... it's okay.
I am learning, though, that just as Malachi's body was loved by me, Christ's body was loved by His Father. God put his hand over the tomb where His Son lay, over Christ's cleft of the rock... Almost as if this Old Testament passage was a foreshadowing of the event following Christ's crucifixion...
"And the Lord said, "Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by. (Exodus 33:21, 22 ESV)
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You understand better than most what the heart of God felt when Jesus died.
ReplyDeleteAnd just as God's heart must have leaped with joy at the resurrection, you will one day know that as well.
Excellent thoughts, friend.
This is heartbreaking, and bringing me to tears once again for you. I don' t know if i ever told you this but i remember the first day i met you and malachi. You were sitting next to him, telling him you were sorry this was happening and that you wished you could make everything better. That always stuck with me because i could tell that you had completely bonded with your boy and were doing whatever you could to be there for him and make him more comfortable. I'm so sorry you've had to experience such heartache, it is amazing how much healing I have seen in you though and i have to agree with your friend on the little man, big impact report, you have shown me that if our worst fears come to pass there is still hope to be found. Thanks for sharing another great post.
ReplyDeleteThis is heartbreaking, and bringing me to tears once again for you. I don' t know if i ever told you this but i remember the first day i met you and malachi. You were sitting next to him, telling him you were sorry this was happening and that you wished you could make everything better. That always stuck with me because i could tell that you had completely bonded with your boy and were doing whatever you could to be there for him and make him more comfortable. I'm so sorry you've had to experience such heartache, it is amazing how much healing I have seen in you though and i have to agree with your friend on the little man, big impact report, you have shown me that if our worst fears come to pass there is still hope to be found. Thanks for sharing another great post.
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