Writing has come as a struggle to me as of late. I mostly feel like I don't really have anything encouraging or exciting to say, so I remain silent. I'm learning though that silence doesn't really make things easier. I am so thankful for a few close friends and family who I have been able to talk to at my low points without fear of judgment and remind me of God's truth.
I know that there is a greater purpose that I may never grasp to everything surrounding Malachi and his impact on our lives. I know that one day it will be easier and the tears won't come quite so frequently. The memories won't be quite so fresh. I don't want to be depressing. I don't want to be completely self-centered. I really don't want it to seem as if I have lost hope. I want to be real. I want to share this with you. I don't want to feel like I'm shouldering this burden alone. It's not easy and I certainly don't have it all together. But I know God has a plan and God has a purpose. He wants to bring glory to Himself and for some reason He has allowed for me to be a part of that.
On my good days, I anxiously anticipate being the kind of woman God is using all of this to transform me into. On the bad days, I wish I was already there...
I appreciate your honesty and don't think anyone would think less of you. I did not even know your son and I cry for him and you at times. I pray that God gives you strength and peace and that during this time you cling to your Father. I pray you have a beautiful healthy pregnancy and easy birth and healthy child. Praying. Be blessed.
ReplyDeleteContinue to share and be open. I love it. And it shows us how to continue to pray for you all.
ReplyDeleteWe are still here, always thinking about you all.
xo,
the Nelsons