lots of work to do

John and I took another walk through on the house. Here's what we found (feel free to skip ahead to the bottom):

Kitchen
Caulk around back door
Touch up around back door
Finish packing up
Fix reducer
Fix border with brown
Install rubber baseboard
Touch up caulk around window
Caulk on top of counter
Touch up crown molding
Pound nails pantry chair rail
Caulk pantry chair rail
Touch up pantry chair rail
Replace bulb
Touch up g. door trim
Clean garage door
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard


Living Room
Fix spot on chair rail
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Caulk crown molding
Touch up crown molding
Take down “Sharbaugh”
Brown touch up by molding


Entryway
Caulk white border
Touch up white border
Touch up trim
Touch up baseboard
Touch up spot next to closet
Baseboard in closet

Office
Finish packing up shelves
Caulk trim
Touch up trim
Paint banister
Pain touch up brown on shelves
Deep clean light fixture
Replace outlet cover
Pack up electric stuff
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard


Stairs
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Tan along stairs
Paint tan up to ceiling


Half Bath
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Touch up crown molding
Install new switches
Replace light switch cover


Guest Room
Fix switch/outlet connection
Clean out closet
Smoke alarm
Caulk around window
Touch up around window
Install closet door
Touch up closet trim
Touch up baseboard


Guest Bath
Caulk counter top
Touch up white
Touch up blue
Scratch paint off counter
Fix toilet?

Nursery
Fix pipe
Fix hole in wall
Repaint wall
Reattach white border
Install closet door
Cover outlets


Hallway
Touch up white attic area
Touch up baseboard
Fix light switches


Laundry Room
Clean floors
Wipe it all down


Playroom
Sand corners
Paint corners
Install corner baseboard
Caulk around windows
Fix blinds
Paint outlets
Fix light switch to work hallway light


Master Bedroom
Paint outlets
Replace switches
Touch up white on ceiling


Master Bath
Install quarter round
Caulk counter
Replace switches
Touch up door trim
Touch up baseboard
Organize
Replace GFI outlet

Now I guess it is a matter of deciding what things need to be done before we get all settled with a realtor. I really wish we knew more about this whole process so that we could have confidence to sell the house ourselves.

Baby Update: I'm definitely not feeling the greatest right now, that's for sure. At least my headache tonight isn't as bad as it's been. I guess the queasy nausea is about to set in. Looks like, Lord willing, I will be rejoicing in my suffering for at least the next two months. Sounds good to me. I think I'm going to go lay in bed with a book. Hopefully, Emerson will let us sleep in tomorrow.

lots of work to do

John and I took another walk through on the house. Here's what we found (feel free to skip ahead to the bottom):

Kitchen
Caulk around back door
Touch up around back door
Finish packing up
Fix reducer
Fix border with brown
Install rubber baseboard
Touch up caulk around window
Caulk on top of counter
Touch up crown molding
Pound nails pantry chair rail
Caulk pantry chair rail
Touch up pantry chair rail
Replace bulb
Touch up g. door trim
Clean garage door
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard


Living Room
Fix spot on chair rail
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Caulk crown molding
Touch up crown molding
Take down “Sharbaugh”
Brown touch up by molding


Entryway
Caulk white border
Touch up white border
Touch up trim
Touch up baseboard
Touch up spot next to closet
Baseboard in closet

Office
Finish packing up shelves
Caulk trim
Touch up trim
Paint banister
Pain touch up brown on shelves
Deep clean light fixture
Replace outlet cover
Pack up electric stuff
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard


Stairs
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Tan along stairs
Paint tan up to ceiling


Half Bath
Caulk baseboard
Touch up baseboard
Touch up crown molding
Install new switches
Replace light switch cover


Guest Room
Fix switch/outlet connection
Clean out closet
Smoke alarm
Caulk around window
Touch up around window
Install closet door
Touch up closet trim
Touch up baseboard


Guest Bath
Caulk counter top
Touch up white
Touch up blue
Scratch paint off counter
Fix toilet?

Nursery
Fix pipe
Fix hole in wall
Repaint wall
Reattach white border
Install closet door
Cover outlets


Hallway
Touch up white attic area
Touch up baseboard
Fix light switches


Laundry Room
Clean floors
Wipe it all down


Playroom
Sand corners
Paint corners
Install corner baseboard
Caulk around windows
Fix blinds
Paint outlets
Fix light switch to work hallway light


Master Bedroom
Paint outlets
Replace switches
Touch up white on ceiling


Master Bath
Install quarter round
Caulk counter
Replace switches
Touch up door trim
Touch up baseboard
Organize
Replace GFI outlet

Now I guess it is a matter of deciding what things need to be done before we get all settled with a realtor. I really wish we knew more about this whole process so that we could have confidence to sell the house ourselves.

Baby Update: I'm definitely not feeling the greatest right now, that's for sure. At least my headache tonight isn't as bad as it's been. I guess the queasy nausea is about to set in. Looks like, Lord willing, I will be rejoicing in my suffering for at least the next two months. Sounds good to me. I think I'm going to go lay in bed with a book. Hopefully, Emerson will let us sleep in tomorrow.

happy birthday to me.

So, I've made it to 23. I don't really think it's that old, but I think it might make my parents feel a little older *WINK* (sorry, guys).

Saturday night I was on the phone with my sister-in-law Julie. We were talking about this and that, and then the subject of babies came up (not unusual as she has a 4 or 5 week old little man). But we were talking about whether or not I was pregnant. We both have been convicted that we should leave our family size in God's control. We are to give every area of our life to him, so why should this part be any different.

(side note: if you desire to take control of this area of your life, please do not use the birth control pill as your form of prevention. Please watch this short video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiCU46_lWeE)

So John and I have decided not to use any form of prevention and agree with the bible when it says that children are a blessing or a reward from God (Psalm 127:3). It was really hard for me to accept losing Jordan (miscarried at 12 weeks), because we had decided to "let" God bless us with this large amount of children. Instead, God needed me to get to the point where I was satisfied in Him and that leaving God in control could also mean only having a small number of children. Well on Saturday, I had finally come to this point. I would be satisfied in Him, even if that meant only being blessed with the opportunity to raise Emerson. It was the first time when I had said the words where I truly meant them with my heart.

The next morning at church, John and I were working in the nursery during the service. Another young mom was in there and she says to me, "So, are you pregnant yet?" I hadn't really felt any "signs of pregnancy", but I said I'd let her know in a few days. Well, that question had really piqued my curiosity and I had decided to take a home pregnancy test that afternoon. Well, I took the test and I didn't see a line. I pushed it aside and was surprisingly okay with the results. I prayed, "God, I know you are in control and I will praise you anyway." (Very much like the movie Facing the Giants.) At that point, I noticed that the bathroom could use some tidying up. I was putting different things back in their place. I went to throw the test in the wastebasket and noticed a very faint line that had formed. Sure enough, it was a faint positive!

I went and showed it to John. He replied, "I'm guessing two lines mean s positive?" Yep! That's exactly what it means. I took another test the following morning just to verify the results and get a little bit more of a confirmation. Sure enough, it too was positive. So, I've gotten different results with different "due date calculators" online. The earliest date being 10-31 and the latest being 11-04. I think I will just tell people that I am due on November 2nd!! Pray that we get to meet this baby on better terms than the last one!

happy birthday to me.

So, I've made it to 23. I don't really think it's that old, but I think it might make my parents feel a little older *WINK* (sorry, guys).

Saturday night I was on the phone with my sister-in-law Julie. We were talking about this and that, and then the subject of babies came up (not unusual as she has a 4 or 5 week old little man). But we were talking about whether or not I was pregnant. We both have been convicted that we should leave our family size in God's control. We are to give every area of our life to him, so why should this part be any different.

(side note: if you desire to take control of this area of your life, please do not use the birth control pill as your form of prevention. Please watch this short video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiCU46_lWeE)

So John and I have decided not to use any form of prevention and agree with the bible when it says that children are a blessing or a reward from God (Psalm 127:3). It was really hard for me to accept losing Jordan (miscarried at 12 weeks), because we had decided to "let" God bless us with this large amount of children. Instead, God needed me to get to the point where I was satisfied in Him and that leaving God in control could also mean only having a small number of children. Well on Saturday, I had finally come to this point. I would be satisfied in Him, even if that meant only being blessed with the opportunity to raise Emerson. It was the first time when I had said the words where I truly meant them with my heart.

The next morning at church, John and I were working in the nursery during the service. Another young mom was in there and she says to me, "So, are you pregnant yet?" I hadn't really felt any "signs of pregnancy", but I said I'd let her know in a few days. Well, that question had really piqued my curiosity and I had decided to take a home pregnancy test that afternoon. Well, I took the test and I didn't see a line. I pushed it aside and was surprisingly okay with the results. I prayed, "God, I know you are in control and I will praise you anyway." (Very much like the movie Facing the Giants.) At that point, I noticed that the bathroom could use some tidying up. I was putting different things back in their place. I went to throw the test in the wastebasket and noticed a very faint line that had formed. Sure enough, it was a faint positive!

I went and showed it to John. He replied, "I'm guessing two lines mean s positive?" Yep! That's exactly what it means. I took another test the following morning just to verify the results and get a little bit more of a confirmation. Sure enough, it too was positive. So, I've gotten different results with different "due date calculators" online. The earliest date being 10-31 and the latest being 11-04. I think I will just tell people that I am due on November 2nd!! Pray that we get to meet this baby on better terms than the last one!

okay with not knowing.

So I started yawning at about 8:30 this evening. I must be getting old ;)

I always feel like I have so many things that I want to tell the world, that when it comes down to actually writing something out, I never know what to say or how to say it.

Right now, I am thankful that all of my needs have been and are being provided for. Spiritually, I have a personal relationship with the God of the universe. Physically, I have food to eat, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head. Emotionally, I have a husband who can't get enough of me and would do anything to ensure that all the above mentioned needs are continually met.

Timing seems to be a topic that subtly or overtly seems to creep into my posts. I seem to have this internal time frame already set for each step of John and I's life. I keep forgetting that only God can see the big picture. I need to let go of all these assumptions that I have regarding my future and just live out what God has already set forth.

On that note, I also need to keep in perspective that I DON'T NEED TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS! I don't know where I got the notion that I needed to have it all "figured out." One thing I've learned as I've gotten older is that most adults don't really have all the answers, they've just gotten better at faking like they do. We're still starting out. We've been married for almost two years. We've relished in the fact that God has given us Emerson to train up and we've grieved in the death of our second daughter, Jordan. Life is hard. John works long hours some days, but we pay all our bills. We keep reminding ourselves that in the busyness of life, family and rest are still important. This does not mean that I think being stagnant is okay, it is still important to progress and complete the things that need completing.

I'm not sure where else I want to go with this post, so I will stop for now and leave you with some encouraging words that God has left for His people from Psalm 37 that encouraged me in my reading today:
3: Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4: Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart's desires.
5: Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you.
16: It is better to be godly and have little than to be evil and rich. (I have a feeling that this one will always apply as I really don't plan on being rich monetarily at any point in our lives.)
18: Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever. They will not be disgraced in hard times; even in famine they will have more than enough.
23: The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.

a great night.

For Valentine's Day, I had a great gift idea for John fall right in my lap. His favorite band is Sanctus Real and they just so happened to be performing in Indianapolis this weekend. We also were able to get a poster autographed and meet the lead singer. They have a song called "Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)" and the lyrics really hit home. It's hard to sit back and realize that it took something like losing Baby Jordan to really focus on God and reevaluate His will for our lives serving Him in full time ministry. I have included a bit of the lyrics below.

It's time for healing time to move on; It's time to fix what's been broken too long; Time make right what has been wrong; It's time to find my way to where I belong; There's a wave that's crashing over me; All I can do is surrender.

Whatever you're doing inside of me; It feels like chaos somehow there's peace; It's hard to surrender to what I can't see; but I'm giving in to something heavenly.

Time for a milestone; Time to begin again; Reevaluate who I really am; Am I doing everything to follow your will; or just climbing aimlessly over these hills; So show me what it is you want from me; I give everything I surrender...

I really underestimated how much seeing these artists perform their songs live would impact me. It's amazing to hear them explain their songs and why they wrote them and the intent behind the lyrics. It just brings each song to an entirely new level. Matthew West also performed at the concert. John and I have become fans of his recently in the last few months and were excited that he would be one of the other performers. Right after he was finished with his portion of the show, he hopped on a plane and headed back to Nashville to meet his wife in the hospital as she was scheduled to be induced to have their second baby girl. Something kind of cool we learned about him was that he had vocal chord surgery less than two years ago and he had no guarantee of being able to sing after recovery, let alone be able to sing as his career. He, too, had a song that was a great challenge to my life. It is called "The Motions."

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something.

John and I really just want to keep moving forward and really just live out what God already has planned for us. It was just a huge encouragement for me especially as it still seems like there is SO MUCH that still needs to be done before we can take that next step.

Last, but not least, the first performer of the night was a guy by the name of Jason Gray. John and I had never heard of him, but he also has an amazing story. He actually has a speech handicap and stutters in normal conversation. When he was younger he really felt like God was calling Him to sing. He was like, "Really, God? How about you make it so I can talk first." But, sure enough, Jason has this amazing voice and no stutter once he starts singing. We really liked being a part of the entire event.

All in all, it was a great way to end our Valentine's Day weekend and just come out with a renewed commitment to each other and to our Lord, Jesus Christ. We are ready to serve Him wherever He leads. I pray that it doesn't take another tragedy to wake us up and get us back on the right track.

trying to be patient...

...and checking priorities.

I'm not really sure why I decided to impose deadlines on us for getting the house on the market. We aren't in any extreme hurry. But the closer and closer we got to that February 1 deadline I set, the more impatient and short-fused I became in just everyday life. I was very aware of what was not getting accomplished in the timeframe of which I decided was best for us. Even if John was putting in a 50+ hour week and we had family things on the weekend, to me it still wasn't good enough. Instead, how thankful I should have been and should be that my husband is working his behind off to make sure that we can pay the bills every month and that his wife and baby are taken care of. All this to say, it was very much hindering me in my God-given role as wife and mother.

So I've taken a step back to try and get a clearer picture of things. A while back, as soon as John expressed interest in teaching english overseas and looking into full-time missions, I was ready to go and ready to go NOW. I knew there are a lot of things that need to take place before all that including the sale of our house in a not-so-pretty market. Right now my "job" is to serve my husband and help him in any way that I can as well as taking care of our daughter. I also need to put God as my first priority and continue to grow in Christlikeness before I will be effective in any future ministries which I will be a part of.

I better wrap this up. Halfway through this post my sick baby woke up crying for her mama. So I've been cradling her with one arm and typing with just the other. Quick sickness update: Emma seems to be on the mend. She started puking last Tuesday and finally a week later she seems to be doing better. John woke up with horrible stomach issues and began vomiting around 5A.M. I've just had a touch of the bug this afternoon/evening--a blessing since I've been taking care of the other two! Hopefully Emma will let me put her back in her crib so i can get some quality shut eye before morning. 'Night

from hope to fear?

From Glenn Beck's daily e-mail thing:

"This is what hope looks like? Obama said today that we may not survive if we don't pass the stimulus package. Sounds more like fear mongering to Glenn, but hey, who are we to question 'the one?' President Obama says it's absolutely necessary to our nation's survival, so Glenn re-looks at what's in the stimulus package to see what we 'have to pass' in order to survive."

He then gives a link to list of 50 must have items to 'save' America from the stimulus.

A few of my favorites:
$4.2 billion for “neighborhood stabilization activities”
$650 million for digital-TV coupons; $90 million to educate “vulnerable populations”
$150 million for the Smithsonian
$600 million to convert the federal auto fleet to hybrids
$450 million for NASA (carve-out for “climate-research missions”)
$600 million for NOAA (carve-out for “climate modeling”)
$1 billion for the Census Bureau
$87 million for a polar icebreaking ship
$150 million for “producers of livestock, honeybees, and farm-raised fish”


This entire economic SPENDING democratic wish list just drives me crazy. I am very thankful that this world is not my own and that I will be spending eternity with my Lord and Savior.

sitting in little places.

So, I've been horrible at sitting down and actually posting new things on this site. I need to remind myself often that it doesn't have to super profound. I just want to let people have a glimpse into our lives. So here goes...


Emerson now likes to sit in little places. I'm not sure why, but it started a week or so ago. I wish I had more pictures, but in the past couple of days we have found her sitting (or trying to sit) in multiple little places. The picture above is her sitting in a little box we had out while I've started packing things. Her high chair tray was sitting at the floor in the kitchen, so she sat on that.
She has since been sitting in other small boxes, including those already full of other items. And my favorite is when she was pulling all my pots and pans out of the cupboard and attempting to fit into my biggest pot... she then proceeded to stubbornly yell at me because she didn't fit. I love my one year old!