So even though this is the visible reminder we have of our sons life on earth, we know that this is temporary. We know there is an eternity that goes far beyond this dark and depressing shadow that we call life. I'm thankful that Malachi will not have to experience the grief and heartache that I am left with until I die. (Side note: I'm learning a lot right now. If I can formulate my thoughts into coherent text, I'll share at some point)
Rejoicing in the resurrection led us here after morning service... Ashamedly, this is the first time we've been since his birthday. The cemetery is cold and depressing in the winter. Spring is my favorite. It's a reminder of God making all things new.
Exchanged the old flowers for new,
but kept the pink daisy Emma picked out from the last time...
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Emma was pretty emotional after John and I prayed at the gravesite. So we decided to take a picture of our sad faces...
But then we talked about how the tomb was EMPTY.... Jesus conquered the grave and saved her little brother. So this is us being SO EXCITED that Baby Chi isn't sick anymore!
It amazes me that death and grief and visits to the cemetery will be a normal part of our kids' lives. It definitely leads to many conversations I'm sure most parents try to avoid. I'm learning to be thankful. I'm reminded over and over again that death isn't natural. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It's a consequence of our sin--my sin and yours. But God made a way. He gave His Son. His Son lived a sinless life. Gave Himself up to a condemned death. Was raised three days later. Then raised in glory. Glory to be shared with sinners like me who believe in Him by faith. Faith that is life changing. Faith that desires to trust God and obey Him. Even if I can't see the eternal. Even in the grief. Because its not about me. It's not about Malachi. It's all about Jesus. And that's all I need.
I thought of you today during our Easter service, and the joy you will have seeing Malachi again - whole and happy. I pray it's soon, the world seems so dark, groaning under the weight of sin. It feels like it should be soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so open with your grief. Your children are not the only ones learning from your example.
Even though we are bound by time, God is not. He's already there, at the moment of your reunion. And someday we will barely be able to remember this breath we called life.
Praying for you always.
Love this post.
ReplyDeleteYou articulate these thoughts so well, I absolutely love it. Thank you for sharing. We too find it odd to be talking about grief and death with a 3 and 5 year old, and have started to attempt to answer some very hard questions. I am glad to be walking this path with you, and you are so right...its all about Jesus and that is all we need! So well said!
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