daddy grieves too

This is a poem that I found on a blog this morning while I was just going through friends' of friends' blogs. Wendi @ http://miraculouschaos.blogspot.com/ When I read this, I couldn't help but thing of John. He is an amazing man and wesas able to be there for me when no other person could have. In the event of miscarriage, though, it is easy to forget but necessary to remember that daddy is grieving too.

I am the daddy
I lost a baby too
You may not see my tears
You may not know of my brokenness
I am trying to hold my family together
I’m trying to comfort
Cook
Clean
Love
Reassure
Intervene
Protect

I am the daddy
I patiently await wholeness in my family again
In those quiet moments I too consider the “what might have been’s”
I wipe tears from my face
He was my son too
I would have taken him fishing
To little league and to the fair
She was my daughter too
I would’ve sung songs to her
Twirled her above my head and indulged in princess tea parties
I may grieve differently, for I did not carry this baby inside of my body
But I carried this baby in my heart and mind

I am the daddy
I will always be the daddy
I hold her hand while she stares out the window
I hold her body while it shakes with sobs
I quiet the household while she rests
I love her with every fiber of my being
It shatters me to be so helpless
I want to take this pain away from her
I want to shield her
I want to see her smile again
Oh God, show me what to do!
Only you can bring the healing

Dear God:

You are the daddy
You will always be the daddy
You hold us while we weep
You comfort us beyond human capabilities
You are the ultimate healer
You give us the gift of time
You wipe away tears
This was not your plan, but that of one who steals and destroys
You grant us renewal
You shower us with love
You mercies are new every morning
Great is YOUR faithfulness